I am not perfect, I have made many bad decisions and wrong choices like everyone does, after all, we are humans with flaws, and I terribly feel sorry for them.   I say stupid things sometimes, I do laugh at things which I am not supposed to do, but I make sure to perform my tasks with sincerity.  I rarely go silent, because I am the only one give some background music in my home, otherwise my home goes utter silence, and no one likes that.    If I am silent means I am tired of arguments and on the self-healing process, luckily my people respect that.  I am a very simple person, I do not stuff my days with lots of activities, I stay limited hours inside the home, I am a nature’s person, I feel extremely happy being with nature, rather than stuffing myself in the company of a human.   I genuinely wish to change some of my habits.   I want to do less talking, but often I fail to do so.  I am a crazy fan of Junk foods, hmmm…. I don’t stick with any diet plans, I don’t know whether I will succeed in this task, worrying is part of my gene…Ha Ha Ha…honestly, worries are like waves in the ocean, and does it stop for anyone? Hence, I am giving least importance to it, no one is sure about what may come next, therefore ‘Toss your worries, and live in like last moment’, this is how I handle myself.  Believe me, it is a great way to escape from anxieties.

I have been repeatedly saying that ‘Do not fuss over things which are not under your control’ so, I think I should state about the things which are under control… right.  In my opinion, I feel we all have perfect control over our efforts, how and where and when to execute, I can’t guarantee the outcome, it depends on the person and frame of mind, we have a set of personal beliefs and not sure whether we follow all or not or possibly will, we have set of priorities and it depends on your age, we all have different priorities in each phase of life, it keeps changing and never be the same.  We have a set of ideas about how to be presentable, that too keep changing on a different phase of life,  we all are enriched with the virtues like kindness, compassion, care, love, bliss, and we exactly know when to bring out those feelings and emotions, I think it is constant, your virtues comes out and grows with your age, we also, know how to take things personally, we have general ideas about how to lead our life and what would be the ultimate object of life, we all know how to converse with people of a different mindset and what to converse, we have control over all those petite things like what to eat and what should not? Whom should we go out and when? Last but not least we all know which makes us happy and which does not... so hurry up....chase your happiness! 

My Mom was my first teacher and that will be forever.   All I have learned from my Mom, she taught us to be courageous and strong, to be disciplined and organized, to be confident,  listen to heart, and be a fighter always.   I had a good opportunity to be with her and learn many things as I was a middle child.  She was too strict during our childhood days, she wants everything to be done on time, she was so specific about each and every single thing in her children’s lives, like the dress, time to go to school, the food we eat, bathing hours, prayers, homework, etc....   If we break any of her pre-planned schedules, Gone….We impatiently wait for the final duty of the day, which is homework to finish so that we can have supper and hit the bed.     She was pretty good in sewing beautiful short summer gowns in bright colors; still I remember all those gorgeous patterns and love to wear them all, her sense of fashion was amazing, I inherited all those fashion ideas from her.  My sweetest childhood memories are playing with my girlfriends, rolling in mud and getting dirty; enjoy raining days and missing classes, etc… I have enjoyed my childhood to the fullest; I am happy that I have done that.  As a child I have troubled my Mom more than my siblings, she shut the doors and will not let me in the house, she does not like her children go against her pre-planned schedule, I was the big rule breaker, I spend hours playing with my school mates …. The other two children were too sincere.  I was not so great in studies, this made my Mom worried a lot, so she will check on me every now and then, later I have proved myself as the most studious among the three.  All I have taught because of my Mom’s painstaking efforts, no doubt in that.    My mom had tough time bringing me up as middle  child.   Now, seeing her too old and weak is breaking my heart, I want to see her in good physical shape and full of energy.  I know it is impossible to bring back all those things.  Thank you Lord for giving me such a wonderful parents ! Thank you Mommy! Love you always!

I have never tried to be perfect in my life.   It is meaningless to be perfect.  Who is perfect in this life? None, but I prefer some kind of clarity in my work.   Feeling guilty, blaming for silly mistakes, body shaming, feeling despised and overlooked by loved loves, feeling dejected and imperfect are the recipe for self- destruction, if you having nothing of the above, then you are truly fortunate.  It is all Okay to be imperfect, but over-stressing on the happenings which are not under your control is not a smart idea.   After all, we are humans with flaws, everyone has the freedom to think and follow a set of beliefs, and we all live our lives according to set of principle which makes us happy and comfortable.  If anything disappointing or nerve-racking should be kept at a bay.  We all want to be mentally strong without wasting time on thinking how sorry about our lives, without focusing on the happenings which we have no control over it, be strong as usual, not becoming a people pleaser, not brooding over past unpleasant memories, without making same mistakes over and over, free from bitterness over the success of others and last but not the least not scared of solitude.  It is inevitable in everyone’s life, at one point in time we all have to face it if you embrace it …. It will become heavenly….otherwise hell…The choice is yours!

Recently, I happened to read about how colors influence a person.  It was quite interesting and somewhat true to my knowledge. I begin with my favorite colors….Red symbolizes power, it stimulates adrenal gland and neurons, it can add up stress,  provoke anger and frustration, it increases heartbeat and respiration, it is associated with great energy, hence it enhances human metabolism, and raises blood pressure.  Turquoise blue has a calming effect to the mind, it slows down human metabolism, it brings tranquility and depressive mood, and it suppresses appetite.  Orange augments mental abilities, creativity, and causes increased appetite.  Green has a soothing effect on eyes, it helps mental relaxation and relieves stress, it improves vision and has healing and hygienic effect.  Yellow helps to boost serotonin levels in the brain, which protects from anxiety, insomnia, panic disorders, and depression, too much of anything can cause mental fatigue, it speeds up metabolism, it stimulates pleasant and happy cells in the brain. White is an outstanding color, it is a symbol of purity, it has a soothing effect, enhances confidence, and well-being.  Black is exceptional, it represents perception and depth.  Gray is elegant and it enhances expectations.  Pink reduces stress anxiety and anger, it has feminine qualities.  Purple develops an interest in spirituality, deepen thoughts and sexuality, it produces gloomy, depressed state of mind causes frustration.  Is not that interesting?

My mom is my best companion, she used to tell me “Behave like a matured woman J when you will behave like a married with a child? Don’t be so playful. You are so funny girl” what’s that mean?  I usually laugh at her comment saying that “Mom, I am yet to have wisdom teeth.” Honestly, I don’t have wisdom teeth yet… I really get surprised what would be like behaving as a solemn school teacher….Ha Ha Ha….I am not that type of person at all.   I am a lively kind, I just need to have  a topic to talk about, many a time I felt that I have to give chance to others to talk….I am truly enthusiastic and conversationalist  ….I just need to have a bit of topic… I do not mind whether the person is infant, adult, teen or elderly.  My greatest disadvantage is that I do not engage in conversation with my age groups….I think infants, adults and the elderly are the source of wisdom and I found that they do enjoy my conversation more than anybody.    So I have a bunch of elderly people as my favorite companion.  Is that because I am a middle born child? Middleborn children are usually adaptable, independent, can be rebellious and feel left out, social and peacemaker.

I am a big eater of butter and honey; most of the milk products except plain milk are my favorites.  When I crave eating sweets if nothing is available I go for a large spoon of honey.  I do not stop there, I taste all those sweet products available in my fridge…like Nutella, Jam, Ice cream, Chocolates, wafers, etc…. the list goes endless.  I need a spirit booster after my afternoon nap, sweets are my weakness.  We have a habit of consuming hot Haldhidhoodh/milk with turmeric during winter; it relieves body pain, cold, coughs, and it heals wound also.   It is an anti-inflammatory agent that helps to removes toxins in the body.  My mom complains that I am adding too much of turmeric in my cooking…true I do…it gives brightness to dishes.   I am not a fan of green tea or coffee, but I choose green tea occasionally when I really want to sit alone and take a sip, hot coffee with my close companion is a weakness.   She is a medical practitioner; though she does not like to have coffee, she will gracefully join with me.  We both have the same tastes in life and we are big chatters J winking!    I often prepare tea with lots of ginger and cardamom for my guests… it is pleasing and rejuvenating as well I do not keep too many friends in life; it is not easy to please everyone, so I stick with someone who really cares about me and I go to any extent to make them happy.