Self – control

Self – control is perfect control over senses.  First of all, we all have a lot of flaws; none is perfect in this world.  Never be too unbending, accept your faults and weaknesses, take an initiative to alter it.  It does not need to be controlled; it just needs to be personalized.  Therefore acceptance is the initial part to gain self-control.  Listen to your inner voice, be kind and understanding and motivating.  Self-control is an action prompts by the conscious mind, which constantly connects with the outer world through self-speech, images, actions and thought. Therefore, the ability of a person to control surging emotions and desires can be achieved with concentration.   The practice of meditation, mindful performance of a task by avoiding multitasking and breathing techniques, helps a lot to achieve concentration.   The conscious mind works like a monitor and keyboard of your computer, while information feeding on the keyboard, results are shown in the monitor.  The sub-conscious mind is like RAM /memory and programs that are currently in use are stored, here is the place where recent memories are stored for quick recall.  The unconscious mind is like hard drive all those memories are stored since birth.

Self-esteem –

It is important to have good self- worth, self-respect, and confidence in every walk of life.   Physical appearance is as much as important as inner appearance, often people judge you seeing your sense of dressing; hence dress up suitably to the place and situation.  The sense of gratitude is essential, we are not aware of the fact that how much we are fortunate; stop looking at what we are lacking in our lives.  Do not compare yourself with others, you never knew what their journey is all about, you are seeing the bright side of the person, have not seen the hardships they had in their lives.  Fill your days with the never-ending hunger to learn, life has so much to offer, always feed our brain with positive thinking.  Mental and physical health is very important, do all that make your health stable at any age, seek help when you really need to, accept changes and be a fighter always.  Work on your requirement of sleep, it is essential to keep your brain fresh and active.   Accept failures, work on it, and turn your failures into success.  Communication skill is essential, always learn to appreciate yourself, you do not need any external support to do that.    Be positive always, talk to yourself more, understand your weaknesses, fears, and insecurities, work on it.  Have a great day! Cheers!

What is maturity?

Maturity is not measured by age, it is an attitude built by several years of experience.    Matured people are emotionally and financially independent; they will not seek comfort on others.  They embrace solitude as well as changes that are inevitable in everyone’s life.  They accept people and their opinions as they are; they are willing to accept the individual differences gracefully.  They are free to think and act, they do not like any kind of emotional dependence, or opinions taking away their freedom.  They make sure all are getting fair treatment; they strongly condemn people who take away somebody’s freedom, or any kind of mistreatment.  They won’t let anyone tarnish their self-respect.  They take complete control over the situation if needed, they do their responsibility very well, they do not blame anyone for their flaws, and they take complete responsibility for their mistakes and quickly find ways to correct it.  They do a lot of listening and less talking, seldom they do over-talking.  They are honest people; they do not take advantage of people or manipulate others for their personal gain.  They often engage in deep significant talks about life and nature, with a great sense of curiosity and wonder.  They do not cling on to people or thing which does not bring any productivity, they are not afraid of leaving them behind.  They do not chase people or material things for their happiness; they know that happiness is within them.  They are genuine people, forgiving nature and good peacemakers.  These people cherish their family and relationships, they manage family finance very well, and they know how to keep their secrets intact.  They always think several times before putting into action, they do not hurt people.  They do not attempt to oppress or impress anyone, they are aware of the fact that both will not work for long time.  They always stay away from conflicts and arguments, and keep a class of their own.  They take criticism for their personal growth; they do not hesitate to apologize for their mistakes.  They know how to keep their personal matters within them, they do not publicize.   They do not spend their good energy in changing people; instead they focus on personal growth.  They keep limited expectations and if anything goes wrong, they do not react miserably.  They do not compare themselves with others, they respect everyone’s uniqueness.  They know the differences of ‘want’ and ‘need’, they often let go their wants.  They do not engage in destructive criticism, they are disciplined and well   organized in their lives.  They will have great sense of adaptability.

Energy draining habits –

Anything which eats up overall well -being should be avoided.  Sleeping requirements for individual differ from person to person, make sure to get required hours of sleep, over-sleeping will excessively burn calories, results in overeating.  We all know the dangers of over – eating.   Constant worrying will not do any good, it can ruin your mental and physical health, always remember that you can’t take control of all those things happening around you, hence do not waste your good energy on trivial opinions, and over thinking can bring only sadness.  Avoiding multi-task often increases the precision of the work and practice mindful- living.  Self –care is very important, take good care of your mental as well as physical health if you really want to serve others, otherwise, you will become a burden for others, blaming and attention – seeking creates a negative impact on you.  Living in the past is a waste of mental energy, it is like feeding the mind with the waste, and we have no hold on past and future, the present is all yours, therefore live in present.  Changes are inevitable, accept and move on, it will give plenty of relief.  Finally, never try to help people, who are not willing to help themselves; it is like trying to wake up a person who is pretending to sleep.

Tranquility –

Happiness brings tranquility, we have a false impression that If I get immensely rich, I would be happy forever, If I get all that I wanted I will be happy rest of my life, If I visit the entire Universe I will be happy in my whole life, If I a have perfect family or relationship I will be happy, If I  a have million dollar job I will be happy…..these are absolutely meaningless.  Material happiness is a short-living nature, we need not depend on materials or persons to build our happiness, and it is within us.  Inner peace begins the moment we let off the thing which does not bring any good and stay away from people who do not bring any happiness other than constant conflict and finally leave people who are not willing to take initiation for productivity.  Do not let any person or incident take control of your emotions or inner peace.  Embrace Kindness, love, compassion, positive thinking, and empathy as your strongest weapons, utilize meditation and breathing technique as an essential part of your life, it can bring permanent bliss! Stay blissful!

Mental and Physical well being –

Every one of us has different lifestyle and our tastes changes from person to person.  It is nothing wrong to apply a new technique that does not cost anything, instead of boosting your mental and physical energy.

 

Showers – Icy cold or moderate or hot showers will absolutely help to elevate your frame of mind

Daily exercises – Anything which pleases your mind….definitely not something strenuous

Daily Meditation and breathing exercises – Definitely it will bring tremendous changes in your perception, positive thinking, self-confidence, etc…

Good eating habits – cutting down a major part of the junk food and adding more nutrients

Sleep – Getting a good night the sleep of 7-8 hours

Drink plenty of water

Spend good hours in the sunlight and be with the Mother Nature

Spending quality time with your family

Keep reading…reading…. And reading

Curtail your expectations

Do your duties and responsibility sincerely

Always remember that ‘Time is the best healer’

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Happiness & Peace

Happiness does not come anything material, happiness, and peace are indivisible which can be achieved through the practice of spirituality.  The undeniable truth is that none of the material things could provide perpetual happiness; material things could provide happiness which is short-living by nature.   Self- realization, and God-realization is permanent bliss.    If you seek wisdom through constant practice of learning scriptures and engage in spiritual practices would change the overall perception, it brings several attributes like kindness, compassion, forbearance, positive thinking, etc.. The past cannot be changed, therefore it is a waste of time and energy to adhere to it, everyone’s journey is different so it is meaningless to compare your life with others, do not be too hypercritical, overthinking will lead to sadness, your thoughts influence your frame of mind, therefore feed your mind with positive thinking.  The sense of happiness is innate, we just need to bring it out on the surface with self-discipline,   kindness does not cost anything, so be kind to everyone, it is very normal to shed tears at times and let people go, always keep in mind that every action has a reaction, things will change and get better always with the transitory of time, the smile is contagious, therefore keep smiling!

Principle of Karma –

‘Every action has consequences; extreme actions have extreme consequences’

The supreme ascetics are void of the fruit of pious as well as sinful acts; hence ascetics are unharmed by the impurities like ordinary people.  They are incomparable; they strictly follow disciplines, religious rites, the vow of silence and righteousness to guide us through the virtuous path.  Therefore, the ascetic always carries full of divine energy which purifies the soul with their mere presence. Ordinary people like us have to experience the fruit of pious as well sinful acts, such as every action, intentions, motive, desires, anger,  lust, greed, and jealousy,  produces its results.   If we are continuously polluting our environment, obviously it will bring epidemic, if we destroy the natural resources, trees and forests it affect overall climatic conditions and causes natural disasters, if the country is overpopulated, it causes outbreak of serious illnesses, if the country is engaged in too much of bloodshed certainly we can expect counterattack, so every action has reaction.  Therefore, all our actions by words, deeds, and intellect create an effect, this is how we create our own destiny.  It is essential to spread humility, happiness, peace, love, compassion, kindness to bring Universal peace!

Commonness in all the religious text – Universal love and peace

True.  All the religious texts affirm the need to be loving, kind, compassionate, caring, a sense of respect, love your nature and every living being on Earth, do not hurt anyone by deed, thought, or word.  We are innate with the nature of love; we have to bring it out in the open that is it! We need not put all our effort to create something which is not familiar or not present; we just need to stir it well, live in harmony, the act of forbearance, and tolerant of our differences, are the simple techniques to live a happy and peaceful life on Earth.  These religious scriptures teach the highest of the truth ‘oneness in all’.   None of us are free from mistakes or sins; we are born with the impurities as well, we have lust, desire, pride, ego, and jealous, the supreme spirit will not hate or favor anyone for their flaws.  The sacred scriptures help to develop serenity, peace, kindness, love, compassion, sympathy, ultimately permanent bliss.

What are the objectives of life?

Our prime objective should be keeping ourselves away from suffering.  Human life has to undergo failures and success, happiness and sorrow, afflictions and well-being, pleasures and pain, fortune and misfortune, grief and joy, distress and contentment, constantly.   Hence ‘life is a bed of roses full of thorns’ and these are fleeting moments in everyone’s life.  We all want to be happy always, that is the ultimate truth, but the hardest truth is that it is impossible to achieve.  The supreme spirit and sacred scriptures are too kind to creatures, they both strive hard to protect the living beings from the miseries, they both define the path of contentment, self- realization, and realization of the supreme spirit.  There are four objectives in life known as Righteousness/Dharma, Wealth/Arththa, Desire/Kama and Moksha/ liberation.   Righteousness is a mode of conduct, following prescribed duties and responsibilities, attributes, virtues, essential quality, ordinance, custom, observance of customary duties, the practice of religious rites, and morality.  Earning wealth to meet the necessities of life, the performance of charity, offering money for religious rites, and utilize the wealth for service to humanity.  Cultivate the desire to perform all the religious rites, desire to perform the duties and responsibilities in a perfect manner, fulfill desires of both physical and material of yourself and your dependents, and gratify the desires of your ancestors by producing children to perform religious rites.  Liberation is the final state to get freed from the vicious cycles of worldly existence once for all; it is called liberation from repeated births.  It can achieved through various pious deeds, self – less service, /Karma Yoga, intense devotion and faith, /Bhakthi Yoga,  and gaining knowledge from scriptures, knowledge of self and God-realization/Jnana Yoga.

What makes a person happy?

In my opinion  living with essentials of life along with the virtues of simplicity, good health, kindness, elegance, humility; self-less act, positive thinking, acquiring knowledge and sharing wisdom, peace and serenity are the keys to happiness.  It varies from person to person.  Finally, knowledge of self, knowledge of supreme consciousness is the bliss which is difficult to attain but not impossible.  Knowledge of supreme consciousness is permanent bliss, which can be achieved by several years of devoted practice of Yoga and meditation, reading scriptures, observing the vow of silence, and practice of selfless service.  This will change the perception of the individual altogether; it transforms the person with a great sense of gratitude,   forbearing, loving, caring and kind.  They start loving all that surrounded by them, they do not get scared of loneliness, and they find themselves happy in their nest J

What is the definition of Happiness?

If you ask people ‘Are you happy in your life?’ majority of the answers will be ‘No I am not.’  Is that true? It is not, because happiness has transitory nature, it is like two sides of a paper; hence we are neither happy nor sad.  We can create happiness, by not focusing on what we are lacking in our lives; we can concentrate on what we have achieved in our lives.  Be thankful to Almighty on every moment for that goodness in life.  Ask yourself ‘Do you have a critical illness? Are you struggling for the necessities of life? Are you an orphan?’ if you have not any of these then you are rich my boss.  As we grow older, fortunate will be drawn towards spirituality, they seek peace in it, and finally, they achieve the goal.  Live your life happily and make sure to spread happiness, live in present and enjoy all those funniest moments, never hold the feeling of resentment towards anyone, find peace in whatever you do.   Happiness is the nature of living beings because we are created by supreme conscious, as I said earlier, we are bound by our Karma.  Eventually, the choice is ours to be happy or not.

Does life have a purpose?

Yes, we all have some specific purpose, things to achieve, dream to accomplish and checklist to follow that never ends.  While childhood days, we want to achieve certain things which could add pleasures to our sense, tiny things like play materials, dresses, toys, and all those teeny tiny things we are attracted from our playmates or childhood friends.  As we grow up the priorities go different, our wish list will be brimming with the needs of an adult, like going out for a movie,  owning gadgets of your choice, partying with friends, etc… Once you start earning you will start dreaming to have your own vehicle, luxuries, home and have a family of your own.  After a certain period of time, you will be started yearning for those wonderful moments you had with your lovely parents and grandparents, you will start realizing the biggest truth in life that material things cannot satisfy you, your inner heart was always satisfied with peace and affection from your beloved people, material happiness is just momentary and it will fade away with the years passes by.  Therefore enjoy being with your family, respect them, be kind and caring.  While chasing after the material needs, pause a bit and think of the people in your life, give time and have a pleasant conversation with them.  We all have to leave this world and our wealth behind.  In the short span of our life, we all have to take an effort to know about the supreme consciousness which is the place of our origin and final destination as well.  We are always surrounded by illusion, it influences our wish list keeps multiplies and changing in every phase of life, and we are fastened by our Karma.

What do we expect from life?

It is a difficult question indeed, most of the time we mix up necessities, comfort, and luxury.  Interestingly, priorities of our life go changing the years passes by,  eventually our comfort turns out to be necessity and luxury turns out to be our comfort.  Expectation never ends and it keeps growing to a stage where we end up in resentment, disappointment, and loss of mental peace.  It is always good to tune your expectations low; it can keep you away from distress, eventually, we will start to find something pleasing each day.  Believe me, it is a great feeling! here comes the regular practice of meditation and Yoga as savior.  Yoga and meditation are inspirational for all age groups, breathing techniques make the whole body nourished with the fresh supply of oxygen, it purifies bloodstreams and removes respiratory disorders.  It increases memory power and helps to get good night sleep.    It has detoxifying benefits, strengthens the immune system, improves creativity, and relieves pain, muscular tension and stress.  It brings a sense of contentment, self-love, confidence, it elevates mood, improves physical health, changes the perception, teaches the highest truth of self-realization, increases the energy level, it removes anger, frustration, insomnia, psychological disorders, fear, and anxiety.  Finally, It brings overall mental and physical well-being. 

 

This is something I found very interesting, we have no idea why we start writing with a pencil, why we do not use the pen in the beginning years of life,  then it would have been so easier isn’t it?, We need not put effort to practice writing with the pen as we do now.  In the initial years of our childhood, we make lots of mistakes, so the pencil is easy to erase, during these years we always have our guardians or parents or mentor with us, constantly watching on us and correct our mistakes.  As we grow young we will have some kind of knowledge about what should do and what not, youth will show confidence and tendency to move out their own, some may take the opportunity to go out of the shade of guardians and parents, and explore.   One important lesson we forget during this journey that mistakes made in adulthood is hard to erase, not to say about the remaining years of life.  We have a whole life before us to learn and the process of learning never ends.  So, when we make mistakes deliberately, we should think twice.  The personal intelligence is put into practice the things we have learned for personal growth,   mistakes are unavoidable, but hung on the same is not a wise idea.

Criticism –

Criticism can be constructive and destructive; it depends on the way how you react to it.    In my opinion, criticism is essential for personal growth and success, though the person’s tone and manner are too harsh, it gives us an opportunity to grow and correct our flaws.  It is good to give time to reflect on the criticism, find out is there anything you could take on to improve yourself, otherwise, ignore it completely.  This is how I react.  It is a waste of time to argue back blindly. One thing is certain, your growth depends on the feedback and criticism, some people comment exactly what is in their mind, it can definitely help you to grow, always move on from the refined comments gracefully.  Be more open-minded to criticism,  often we mistake people who criticize, some people are born with that kind approach, they cannot change themselves for you, accept them as they are to maintain peace.   It is a great talent to accept the people as they are,  this is the thing I often advise my son, it is a really hard process but we all can do it with regular practice, it can reduce stress in the family,  colleges, and workplace as well.    Sometimes, I do feel really sorry for them.  Do not argue with people who criticize, if possible start a gentle conversation, ask them to be more specific, so that you can improve and correct your mistakes, anything that hurt your self-respect should be ignored right out. 

Time is too precious and limited as well.  We often tend to realize that we have wasted our precious time on unsuccessful activities, gone is gone…. It is irreparable; in the future, we can be cautious and act wisely.  Planning is essential, but do not wait for the perfect timing for the execution of work…keep doing things which you feel good.  Prioritize the work, always work on things which are important at that moment, not getting involved in unimportant activities and leaving the important task behind is not a great idea.  Never wait for inspiration, first of all, it is difficult to obtain in this busy world, no one has the time to improve other’s life, hence the act of self-motivation is the best.  In every household we could sense the trouble of doing everything by one person; it can cause mental and physical fatigue, irritation, chaos, etc... so start delegating work to each member of the family, the collective contribution would bring amazing results and overall well being.   I would say never worry about what people will talk about you, it is none of your business, you cannot control everyone’s thought process, every individual has a different way of thinking, so never expect that they should think alike, it is groundless.  Live your life at the fullest, do all that makes you happy, listen to your heart and intuition.  Failures and success, happiness and sorrow, loss and gain, are part of life, learn to accept them gracefully, never be afraid of indifferent results, it should not hold us back from our goal and hard work.  Complaining about the circumstances or people when things go unfavorable is not a good idea, or blaming others for your failures is an act of a cowardness, so be courageous and face it.  When you try to please someone, always remember that it is an impossible task you are into.  Never compare yourself with others, you are truly unaware of their journey, always believe in yourself.  We all make mistakes in life, but repeating the same mistake over and over is an act of foolishness.

Achievement -

The achievement will not come in an easy package; it needs lots of hard work.    Planning, proper execution of the task and hard work are effective tools for achievement. The added qualities are not wasting time feeling sorry for themselves and move on quickly from unpleasant acts, keeping good control over the responsibilities and not giving away the power, the technique of adaption with the knowledge that changes are inevitable and embrace changes quickly and welcome challenges, keeping oneself calm and happy, not wasting energy on the things which cannot control.    Usually, great achievers are  kind and compassionate, they are fair in every dealing, they are  unafraid to speak up,  they don’t waste time on pleasing others, they are willing to take calculated risks, they invest their energy on the present and they do not dwell on the past, they take complete responsibility for their  behavior and actions, and will not make same a mistake over and over, they enjoy their solitude, they are hardworking and forbearing,  they think productively and engages in productive thoughts in this way they replace their negative thoughts.

I am a big follower of Warren Buffett who is a Philanthropist, I blindly follow whatever he says J  his advice on emotional reaction is something fascinating if you have an emotional reaction on whatever said to you, it will bring continuous suffering, the true power is sitting back and observe things with logic.  If words can control your inner-peace means everyone else can control.  So be calm and breathe it out.  Always surround yourself with people competent and better than you.  Keep reading and reading, knowledge is like a vast ocean, your life is not enough to get a glimpse of it.  Planning is essential in all walks of life, sometimes it may not work, never get disappointed, meeting the unanticipated things with braveness that is count.  Always save space and time for the people who are close to heart, do not invest your precious energy on people who cannot accept changes, keep your circle small it can improve the intimacy, acceptance is the key to success, move out of things which are not under control and leave behind what is not good for you and be positive always.  Effective communication is essential for success in all fields, we all are supplemented with strength and weakness, better familiarize with it.   Time is limited and wealth is precious, therefore use both of the things wisely.

Causes of grief

Grief is something comes out as the price of love, desire, attachment, and affection.   It never ends, but it keeps passing from time to time, it is predictable in everyone’s life.   During the period of grieving, acknowledging the pain and giving assurance that you will be there to listen whenever needed, ready to support physically and mentally are graceful gestures.    It is not advisable to show them a brighter side of life or burden with personal experiences.  We all have that instinct of survival and it will come out on the surface in due course of time.  As we always believe ‘Time is the best healer’, you could see them moving out of the grief confidently as if nothing has changed in their life.  Yes, It is true, nothing has changed, and our approach has changed over the situation.  As I said earlier, we all are innate with the skill of survival and sense of acceptance; the earlier it would be better.  Though the person has to undergo stages like disbelief, denial, anger, sorrow and finally they will come to accept the fact.  I think acceptance is a great relief, constant brooding over the unpleasant past is better than moving out of it completely.  During this period, it is advisable to follow meditation and breathing techniques which will work wonders to get back to normalcy.  The beauty of mindful meditation is it helps to achieve the sense of attachment with detachment, it constantly teaches that nothing is permanent in this world, all those material and immaterial things, every little thing in this world has to undergo constant changes.  This post is dedicated to all those who are grieving over the loss of their beloved ones.