Lessons of life –

Every lesson in life makes you or breaks you; hence take every opportunity to make you.  Difficulties are an unavoidable part of life, so approach them with a clear mindset, use them as a ladder for your growth, definitely, it is not for destroying you, it gives a chance to grow mentally stronger.  Life is meaningful, be it in solitude or in the company of friends and family.  Seek every opportunity to grow mentally, you can create your life happily, all that you need is a clear mindset.  Ignorance is the greatest enemy, never leave a single opportunity to read and learn; even a child’s message carries the greatest meaning.  Keep reading, whether you understood or not, develop the habit of reading, it is your best companion in your solitude, read everything your hands get on, read all those texts of different beliefs, you will understand the ultimate truth, we are unnecessarily stressing over every little material thing which has zero value, leaving behind the most invaluable truth of self-realization.  Be yourself, be kind, compassionate, caring, loving, and selfless.  Our trails are often muddy, full of twist and turns, does not matter, finally you made it  cleaner and brighter than before.  Physical appearance carries little, but inner- appearances is beautiful heart and mind all that matters.  You need not become perfect to be happy, your true self is happy because you have decided to look beyond the imperfections; you have two choices before you, either be happy and grateful for the things and people in life, or be miserable for what’s missing in your life.

Inner dialogue/silent self –talk

Productive, encouraging, and promising silent self-talks always help to boost our self-confidence, self-esteem, and self- respect,  which means overall mental well-being.  I do practice the same, believe me, it is super good.  You need not take everyone’s attention in doing so, silent self- talk is paying attention to your inner-voice as if you are listening to your beloved companion and inspire with positive talks.  This habit will help us not to seek external support for mental growth.  It will help you to find out your mental as well as physical discomforts at ease, accordingly, we can approach for medical help.  Silent self-talk can do wonders in your life, especially people living solitude, ‘Your sincere companion is your inner voice, it will not misguide you’.   This technique will work at all times, while you are stressed out, overjoyed, depressed, anxious, etc..  Daily practice of meditation and breathing techniques promote to build immense faith.  All our mindset and sentiments are transient nature, you cannot be happy always or sad, healthy or unhealthy, full of life or out of fuel.  Be a fighter; always look back on your success, remember that you have survived through several difficult times in your life; hence you will survive this too.  You need not require someone to pat on your shoulder to encourage you; you can do it by yourself.   

Time – stealer

We all have experienced that sense of regret and guilt; honestly, it is a horrible feeling, both can do nothing but spoil our present, somebody said it is like driving on a high way looking at a rear-view mirror, how horrifying is that? Complaining and keeping grudge makes life more bitter, anger is like drinking poison expecting another person to die, how gruesome is that? It destroys the mental peace as well as physical health, it cannot resolve any issues but it makes the problems grow deeper, honestly meditation tackles this vicious feeling in no time.  Forgiveness takes away half of the mental load, otherwise it is like punishing yourself for other person’s sin, clinging on to the unpleasant experiences will not help, instead, it will take the happiness of the present, therefore, practice forgive and forget.  Comparing one’s lifestyle, career, and achievements with another person is a complete disaster, this attitude makes us ungrateful towards goodness in our lives, how pathetic is that? If another person is happier than you mean, he had made many sacrifices to achieve that happiness, if somebody is miserable means they have not taken any initiative to transform them, is it not that simple? So comparing your life with someone’s is an absolute waste of time.  We all have experienced that worrying about the things which are not under our control which is baseless; do we have any control over the natural world? All that we could do is preserving our nature and natural resources; do we have any control over our life, happiness, sorrow, grief, miseries, accidents, deaths, Illnesses, epidemic and Natural calamities? We can take good care to prevent it, rest is fate, and therefore worrying about things that are not our control is a major time-stealer.

Meditation –

Meditation has a tremendous effect on emotional, mental as well as physical health.  This is one of the resourceful self-realization techniques.  Though I am a beginner to it, I strongly agree with the fact that it helps to achieve terrific mental and physical well-being.  First of all, it helps to de-clutter your mind, we need to not pile up our mind with unwanted thoughts which creates a roadblock to our daily activities, and it helps to have mental clarity, it enhances the creative part of the mind, it brings freshness, alertness and above all a wonderful feeling of liveliness.  We will get a clear idea of what to store what not to be stored in our mind; it helps us to easily let go of things or people who create mental fatigue.  It helps to a great extent to control over anger and sudden rush of feelings, sadness, jealous, etc.. the wonderful part is that it provides uncanny ability to bounce back into your real form, it changes your overall perception, you will definitely transform into a better person, more mature, kind, loving, and cheerful.  It contributes to good physical health, keeps you away from addiction forming habits.  Definitely, it will bring good performance results and improve concentration.  Keep meditating!

Realities of life –

Life is a roller coaster ride, we have two choices to make, and one gets accustomed to the joggle and jiggle, or cry for help.   I think the first one is better and sounds great, there is no guarantee that your cries will fall into ears.  Self-control is a commendable virtue, but tolerance to the wrong attitude is teaching people how to treat you, stay connected with the people who are sunshine in your life, it is essential to spread happiness and keep yourself mentally healthy.  Do not be a people-pleaser, it is impossible to do that while losing people or material things always think that you have Almighty with you.  Discipline is a precious gem, only a few will get the opportunity to grab it, if you do it, you are invaluable.  Always remember that each and every individual has different likes and dislikes, never expect that you should be liked by everyone, if not gracefully move out from their life with all the self-respect.  Everything has transitory nature, people, material happiness, grief, pain, afflictions, wealth, health, solitude etc… therefore embrace each and every moment, cling on to it as if it is the final moment.

The object of life –

‘Do your duties without expecting its fruit.” anyhow we have to perform our duties and responsibilities, none can stay free from activities, and in that case, we can make an effort to do all that good and reasonable duties isn’t it? Why we need to choose righteousness over evilness? Every action will create an impact on our lives, so scriptures and sacred texts insist us to follow righteous duties.  We have born in this world to pay off debts and sins; yes we are born with debts to supreme spirit, ancestors, humans, and authors of greatest beliefs and scriptures.  We are committing sins by words, deeds, and intellect, in every second in our lives.  Therefore, we are liable to pay off all those sins and debts accumulated in previous births and in this life.  How can we wash off all those sins and debts? The first thing is to accept that I have made treacherous sins, be apologetic wholeheartedly, and rectify it with a promise not to repeat the sins over and over.  Help the needy with food, clothing and shelter; spend substantial amount on charitable work with the knowledge that all that you have earned is not yours, it is the grace of Almighty, your contribution to earn wealth is too little, HE was the driving force behind you, you can’t even move an inch without His command, your charitable work will definitely multiply peace and serenity, ultimately you will find the object of your life. 

Success –

Who does not want to be successful?  We all dream of becoming successful and make every effort to be successful.  The hard and true fact is that everyone cannot  become successful, some of the reasons for not meeting their dream can be a lack of purpose in life, most of the successful people have various ambitions which fuel the purpose, like uplift family, serving weaker sections of the society or community, etc… therefore purpose of life and ambition are interconnected, procrastination is another a biggest roadblock in the path of success,  procrastinators  do not engage in any productive activity, lack of discipline and planning can be another reason, planning is essential, sometimes if Plan A did not work the way you want, you should be ready  to work on Plan B and Plan C, to achieve the desired results.  Lack of patience and focus often put you in a state of out of fuel; success is something achievable through the proper utilization of time, money, skill, and machines.  Age is not a factor to keep you away from learning, there are three categories of people, some are not willing to learn or some are scared of failures, or some are too rigid with their mindsets which block them to learn new things.  Poor time management and bad financial management also becomes the biggest hurdle for success.

Simplicity –

This is one of the essential techniques to make life easier and more enjoyable as well; practicing this method in all walks of life will avoid mental confusion and untidiness too.  Keeping things which are in frequent use and removing the unwanted things will keep your space tidy while buying things whether it is clothing or daily supplies, buy only things you need.  Do not stuff your stomach with all that you crave, instead eat what your body needs.  Physical exercise is important, do not leave any opportunity to walk around, it can keep you fresh and elevate your mood.  It is good to have a clear awareness about what’s your necessities, comforts, and luxuries in life, it keeps differ from person to person.  We have every right to treat us with luxuries once in a while, so don’t be a miser.  Cooking meals at home will keep you engaged; most importantly it will keep your health safe in your hands.  Never leave the thirst to build up knowledge, give up interest in accumulating material possessions; otherwise, later you possibly will feel that they are an absolute burden in your life.  We are ordinary human beings; we have a lot of flaws, it is necessary to work on our weakness, focus on your priorities, I would certainly advise  keeping journal about your life and passion is something you will love to look back, interesting fact is that you can be your own, you need not wear a mask while writing about yourself, you can be a genuine and you have all the freedom to write about your interests, fears, weakness, and strength, the happiness out of that moment is praiseworthy, especially when you have ample time of your own.  Money and time are precious and limited, make good use of both.

Wisdom –

Our revered spiritual Master Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa has an exquisite ability to teach the greatest of values with simplicity.  This is one of the examples to differentiate common sense and wisdom.  Master was giving a simple practical lesson to teach his three disciples about wisdom, he instructed each disciple one at a time to go to the adjoining room and drink a glass of milk and return to his chamber.  The first disciple went to the closed room and saw three glasses of milk kept in golden, silver and a glass made of a mixture of alloy, copper, bronze, and tin respectively, he had milk from golden glass and happily returned to Master, the second disciple went to the room and saw the golden glass was empty, he noticed silver and  metal glass filled with milk, he was a bit disappointed for not  getting an opportunity to drink milk from a golden glass, but never mind, he had milk from a silver glass, the third disciple went to  the room and saw  gold and silver glasses are empty, but the mixture of metal glass is full of milk, he was completely distraught,  though he was disappointed thoroughly, he sincerely followed his Master’s instruction and returned to him.  When Master asked their experiences of consuming milk, first disciple was extremely happily to have milk from golden glass, second one was satisfied to have milk from silver glass, and the third one was uncontrollable with tears.  Master replied that all three glasses were filled with the same flavored milk with saffron and cardamom, but their experience of consuming the milk was completely different,  because they three gave importance to the glasses in which they consumed the milk, they did not give importance to the flavored milk they had in common.  Therefore, the moral is wise people do not think about the texture of the glass, they value the content in it.

The shocking revelation is that many of us forgets to appreciate what we have in our lives, three fourths of our lives we spend in finding what is lacking in our lives,  like the third disciple without knowing the value of the content.

Emotional dependency –

Emotional dependency can be described as the requirements of physical as well as mental support.  It can be out of likeness or affection or love or sense of insecurity or lack of confidence, whatever may be the reason, and it is not a great idea.  It is like an emotionally or physically dependent on somebody to calm down you, is it welcoming?  Definitely, it is not feasible in everyday life.  My mom uses several tricks to boost our personality while we were kids, especially when we meet with silly accidents like knock down ourselves, or finding difficulty in performing any minor tasks, she won’t pay any attention to us, but we could sense that she will be in reach anytime, If she is ignoring means, it is a silent saying ‘I am there for you, you can do it by your own.’  It is a warning sign that we should try to stand up ourselves or we have to help ourselves to resolve the task.  Not only me, but most of the Moms out there also train their children in this way to boost their confidence and persona if not rushing to every need of a child is like poisoning a child.  Therefore, one  thing is sure that we do not require emotional or physical support to live on this planet, we are mentally and physically strong and capable to perform our tasks,  we can handle our needs very well without any external support, we all are very well custom-made to this practice from early years of life.  The needs of physically challenged people are not included; they always have a special place in everyone’s heart.

You are your best friend!

You read it right.  Ours is a fast-moving life, all have their own dreams to chase, work to finish, hobbies, and passion to discover, earn to meet necessities of life, comforts, and luxuries of life, a few people like me would find heaven in solitude, only a  few have time to check on you.  Somebody focusing on own self is not ‘introvert’ or ‘reserved’, they are not people with lack of confidence or depressed, they just do not want to talk to anyone, I would say they are way too intelligent, because there are lots of benefits in this attitude, it will give ample time to be your own, gives a chance to know who you are, what’s your strength and weakness, what are your beliefs, how to improve yourself etc… Do extroverts get time for all these? Yes, because I do both, I have experienced pros and cons of both the approach.  Therefore, I do not agree that DNA contributes a person to be ‘introvert’ or ‘extrovert’.  You have always two choices before you, either be chatterbox or reserved, I enjoy being both.  I can be a good listener too, I do fruitful conversation as well as silly talks, I avoid people who engage in constant conflict, arguments,  wears mask in public. 

Realities of life –

Life is not a bed of roses, it has thorns too.  Everything in life is temporary, our priorities, aspirations, needs, dreams, achievements, fame, hostility, anger, jealous, attitude, including us.  We never stop chasing our dreams, but our priorities and needs keep changing over the period of time.  The biggest truth is that ‘Time has the greatest influence on everything.”  The simple thing is that our greed drives the economy and vice versa, money is essential because nothing will work without it, but money is not everything.  Our lives are predestined, we have the right to live in the present, past and future are not ours.  Education is essential, it is not the key to success, unless and until if you do not know how to put it in use, because many are having a long list of titles behind their names if you cannot utilize it sensibly, it remains a title forever.  Never take your life for granted, there are many out dreaming of having your life.  Have you heard of saying that ‘I am thinking of doing that and doing this….’ Never be like that, if your notion is perfect, do it right now, do not wait for the right moment, sometimes the right moment may not come.  Learn to meet failures and success in the right spirit, both are unavoidable, steer your mind with loads of positive thinking.

Emotional Intelligence –

Living beings are shackled with emotion, some people handle their emotions in a matured way, some are not aware of it, does not matter, one thing we should agree that we all are emotional creatures, our reflection of thought, communication, and delivering duties are based on emotion.  Emotional intelligence is awareness of self and others, ability to recognize the emotion of oneself and others as well, understanding weakness and strength, understanding the mood of the person on the current situation, taking pause before acting or thinking, can help you to avoid an embarrassing situation, it helps to refrain from taking major decisions of life-based on the sudden rush of emotion.  You need not control your thoughts or emotions, let it flow as usual, but you can control your reaction to it, eg: A bird landing on your head is unavoidable, but you can make sure it is not building nest.  No one takes harsh criticism on the right spirit, but the interesting fact is that it gives us great opportunity to grow, therefore never ignore criticism, I have learned so much from criticism, I always look into it with a positive spirit, sometimes with a plainness or annoyance.  Authenticity is very important, sticking on your values and principles also equally important, I am aware of the fact that everyone will not appreciate my thoughts, although some may agree with it.   Be empathetic, understand others feelings, try to fit in their shoes to understand the situation thoroughly, instead of judging or labeling them, empathy is understanding another person’s point of view, not agreeing to it.  Never be a miser to appreciate others upon good work which needs a pat on the shoulder, encourage with constructive feedback, not destructive.  Demonstrate humility, apologize for your mistakes, it needs courage and strength to do so.  Forgive and forget, though it is not so easy, but we all can strive to achieve it.  Keep up your word, follow your commitment sincerely, and always be willing to help others in need.

Moss gardening –

Now a day’s who is having time to maintain a garden, but we all need little green in our homes to elevate our mood, all you need a little space in your balcony to grow mosses.  An interesting fact is that mosses are drought-resistant plants on Earth.  It can be seen in the forest area, Creekside, wet trees, and garden areas; they preferably grow in humidity and steady moisture.  If you are getting mosses from nearby creek area or forest area or from gardener it would be ideal to plant in your home balcony.    All you have to do is collect some mosses from trees or forest areas or creek, keep it in a zip-lock bag.  Take a blender, mix two glasses of water with an equal quantity of buttermilk and top up with these mosses you have collected, blend it well, your moss mixture is ready.  You can paint this mixture on your balcony wall or on the flower pot and keep it in shade for few days, you will notice mosses start growing all around, make sure to keep it in shade for the first few days, let it grow, once it is ready it can survive in any temperature.  These mosses have no lengthy root, all they need is to moisture and nutrition for survival that they will absorb from air, they absorb unwanted air particles, smoke, and bacteria and it restores within it.  It is a natural air purifier, it makes the air clean and free of toxin, it stabilizes room temperature in a pretty well manner. 

Moksha – Nirvana

The concept of Moksha and Nirvana is the same, Hindu religious text prompt to achieve Moksha that is liberation from repeated births, freedom from birth and death, with the knowledge of self and knowledge of Universal spirit, knowing the eternal truth that the illusion is all-pervading, you are shackled by worldly bondage, practice of attachment with a sense of detachment would lead the soul to attain unison with the supreme being.  Our scriptures describes the methods to attain  the  four methodical approach to achieve the ultimate object that is salvation from repeated births, that are Dharma/follow righteous deeds, Arththa/ earn wealth to perform your duties and responsibilities, Kama/fulfill your physical and material needs, and the final stage is Moksha/liberation from repeated births.   Buddhists believe that Nirvana is the superior state which put an end to all the sufferings.  Both the notions are teaching us the causes of sufferings and how to get rid of the same.  The root causes of all the afflictions are anger, fear, hatred, jealousy, lust, desire, violence, etc... Nirvana teaches to attain the state of enlightened one ’Buddha’.

Contentment –

Everyone’s life is a search for happiness, every one of us has dreams to fulfill, desires to achieve and expectations to meet while chasing the above things, we often feel disappointed or dejected or get momentarily happy.  Have you ever thought of contentment?  contentment is supreme bliss.  A contented person is considered as the richest, a person who finds happiness in the basic necessities of life, such as food for thought, a shelter for sleep and remain protected, and clothing for covering nudity is richest in all sense.  A contented person is well aware of the fact that health is wealth; good health always follows with happiness and peace.  Happiness is a state of mind; bliss is the permanent state of mind.  Therefore contentment can be achieved through methodical practice; it is an attitude to be happy with whatever in hand, stop complaining things you are lacking, and always be grateful to God for all those things present in your life.  Physical exercise and meditation will definitely change your perception, learn to give away, cut down your expectations and practice to achieve a state where there is no expectation at all.

Emotional health –

Emotional health influences thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.  People who are emotionally healthy also feel frustrated stressed out and depressed, but they know how to cope up with the emotional disturbances.  During this period of emotional turbulence, keep yourself out of the nest, be with nature, get more sunlight, you will come to know that all are having their own baggage of break-downs to carry, none are free from afflictions.  Take a break from your daily routine; try something different to appease you.  Don’t focus on your troubles, be positive, time is the best healer; you will be back in your safe zone.  Meditation and breathing techniques will do wonders in your overall perception; you will regain your lost energy in no time.    Always remember your past achievements, your skills, your capabilities; definitely it will boost your energy level.  Be nice to yourself, never compare your current situation with others, anyway it is going to alter by passing of time, so it is a waste of energy, stay away from things and people which bring no productivity, always keep the sense of gratitude.

Law of attraction –

I am not going to write about external appearance or skin tone, it is none of my job I feel.  Honestly, I do not give much importance to it, it does not mean that I am lacking interest in self-care; I do care about outward appearance as well.  All that matters what’s inside you, what’s that you’re feeding your brain on a regular basis, selflessness, the reflection of your thoughts, kindness, love, simplicity, humility, intelligence, sense of responsibility, etc… You need not appear in a million dollar worth costume to get attracted, or you need not drive Porsche vehicle to gain attraction, or you need not be a regular diner in a star hotel, or you need not own latest models of gadget to get an attraction.   Be genuine and unique, feed yourself with a great sense of confidence, self-esteem, self –respect, which helps to stand out of the crowd.  Prioritize your task, learn to put your needs first, take care of your mental and physical health, so that you can invest your energy on your loved ones.  Keep physical and mental exercises/meditation as your top priority in your list of daily routine.  Take a promise to learn something on daily basis which helps to grow mentally.  Take responsibilities of your mistakes, learn from the mistakes and do not repeat the same, it is our common tendency to make mistakes, it is not a good sign blaming somebody for your mistakes, learn to appreciate yourself and others as well.  Intelligence is all about to deliver meaningful conversation; keep informed about current events, be a great conversation starter and friendly, sense of humor is essential and make people comfortable around you, besides all those qualities, you need to be a listener as well.

Knowledge is bliss -

Ignorance is a lack of knowledge and it is caused by delusion /Maya, we can perform mundane matters without putting much effort.  Spiritual knowledge is knowledge of self and knowledge about the supreme spirit which is the highest of knowledge that can be obtained by constant reading of scriptures that reveal eternal truth.   Nothing is permanent in this world.  The spiritual knowledge destroys miseries and sorrows forever; it destroys desires, selfishness and worldly bondage in the fire of knowledge.  Ignorance can bring only sorrows, and afflictions, an ignorant person cannot be happy in his life. There are four ways to rise above the darkness of ignorance, Jnana Yoga/knowledge, the practice of seeking knowledge, and we are often mistaken about the concept of ‘I’ as the physical body,  Jnana Yoga teaches ‘I’ as supreme soul, it builds up virtues like forbearance, non-violence,  and sense of ‘oneness in all’.  Karma Yoga/action, the practice of selfless act, it helps to get rid of expectation and desires which causes grief.  Bhakti Yoga/divine love, the practice of religious rites and recitation of sacred texts, develop the sense of love, peace, and happiness.  Raja Yoga/meditation, it develops concentration and bliss, physical and mental well-being as well.

Coffee -

I am not a regular in-taker of coffee, I can stay without coffee for several days, and once in a while, I feel drinking hot coffee to celebrate my morning.  I will not encourage two shots of coffee in a day, my Mom needs this drink repeatedly in a day, later on, she finds that it drained her energy and increases the sense of lack of fluids.  I cannot drink a coffee without a glass of water, I get dried out immediately after consuming a cup.  Previously I used to spend long night hours for reading while doing so I sip a large mug of black coffee to keep focused.  Later, I had to face sleeplessness, my internal specialist advised cut short of coffees, there goes coffee mug out of the house.  I started with single coffee a day that was fine with me, but alright without it.  My Mom keeps all that good coffee powders for daily consumption, she carries with her while traveling; she just can’t live without it.   Coffee stir anxiety, hot flashes, and sleeplessness, hence people who are having anxiety disorders stay away from coffee, or if not possible cut short into a minimum, anything which costs your health should be avoided.  Finland and Norway are the two countries consume the maximum quantity of coffee, they do have the custom to serve their guests with a cup of coffee as we do it in India.